Top 5 moments:first week of school

School started again. And now that the first week is over, let me reminisce all the sucky community college kids/adults.

1. Kid who comes to class with a Cigarette behind his ear
2. The kid that bugs the shit out of me in previous classes because he always brings soda and chips and his laptop, and wears numerous Denver Bronco’s clothing at once, comes out of his class room and points at someone and does the Bully from the Simpsons laugh.
3. There’s a fellow who is the stereotypical linkin park fan/college frat boy likes to sit in the back of math class and when the teacher asks for a response like ” and the square root of 196 is..?” and this guy will yell out a wrong answer, just because he thinks it’s right, and the teacher usually doesn’t acknowledge wrong answers, so the kid gets mad and answers with the same response except this time he’s angry about it so he shouts it in that 5 year old tone like “I SAID THE ANSWER FIRST”.  but it’s ALWAYS wrong.
4. A kid wearing a “vote for pedro” shirt on the first day of school. What a great first impression “hey there’s that kid who gets gift cards for hot topic from all his relatives” and/or “hey there’s that kid who lacks any type of personality so he relies on movies to create one for him”
5. The Angry black man that gets really pissed because he doesn’t understand the girl with the foreign accent giving a speech. “what da fuck is dat girl sayin’?!” he says to me, and rather than repeating what she just said i say ” i don’t know, i think she’s speaking in tongue” … a little while later “I cant understand what da fuck dis girl is saying”. I sit back and laugh at his frustration.

xo

who wants to come

stephen malkmus (<3) with blitzen trapper on december 21st at the doug fir…

any pavement fans out there anymore?

I believe once upon a time there was a whole array of pavement fans. It was a cult following, and i jumped onto the band-wagon strangely early. Nobody buys the new snoop dogg cd with crooked rain, crooked rain. but i was in 7th grade and i was just starting to come out of that awkward stage of TRL telling me whats cool, and starting to do musical research by myself. Also napster came around and allowed me to download songs of people i never would have known existed. (although it took almost a whole 12 hours for a song).

I know maybe 2 pavement fans here locally. It saddens me a little just because  of how influential they were, and also because Stephen Malkmus is a genius! And i’ll get to see him finally. 21 and over! sorry.

Let me know if you wanna go.

xo

music stylingz

Big Bill broonzy!

Leon Redbone

Mississippi Fred Mcdowell

Inkwell Rhythm makers (cover of Blind Willie Mctell)

ps. stop calling portland ‘p-town’ unless you wanna sound like a kid with a sideways hat.

happiness

The last line of the movie; ” …I came.”, and a look of relief fell upon this 11 year old boys face as he confessed his accomplishment in the middle of a family dinner .

I just finished watching Happiness. It was very entertaining at the least. But not quite a family movie though. Pedophile rapists, masturbation, murder in a crime of passion, a fellow who gets aroused by making obscene phone calls… if this sounds interesting to you go watch it.  but not with your family please, unless you are completely comfortable with them.

I know this is an older movie, and all you hippster movie people are gonna be like ” where have you been!?” and i’ve been developing other skills lets say. but it has this fella in it, which hopefully you all know of and are fond of.

anyway. Don’t support redneck comedy and fuck jihads and actually i’ll make a list of things that i would like to give the middle finger to. i’m not angry at all right now, so these things aren’t being said out of anger, they are being said out of the support of happiness (which works well with this blogs theme)

1. Women who act like boys, but who are still straight.
2. The burden in which yeast infections create for girls. ( i dont know anybody who has had one, or who has admitted to having one, but i’m sure they are yucky)
3. Guys who feel the need to admit to me upon seeing a female that he would “…fuck her”
4.  People who view porn as completely immoral.
5. John norris’s new look:

xo

Suck report vol. 1

First of all look at those fucking shoes!!! 5 inch souls. It’s like he needs to be taller to get on rides at the family fun center. SEcond of all his shorts are down to his ankle socks. SHORTS, they’re shorts because they are shorter length than pants and capris. This guy is supposed to be a grown up, but dresses like he’s in 7th grade before they learned of the existence of belts and before the realization that your not going to be growing anymore so you don’t have to buy really big clothes to compensate and before they realize that it’s a lot easier to just tie your shoes. Kevin Federline SUCKS!

this kid sucks

the kid who almost ruined the devendra show… he was the 15 year old who decided he was a big enough fan to sit front row after hearing his song on the hills have eyes 2 soundtrack and was probably being entertained by a hellogoodbye/boys like girls show the week before. he sat front row and was super curious of everything, and would peak over at the set list every song. then probably his worst habit was yelling out “cheah!’ “cheah cheah!” both after songs and during songs. Not to mention all 50 pictures he took with his shitty cellphone camera. and he would lean over the stage and extend his arm way out to try to get closer. and then he asked the guitar player for the set list in between songs and even before the set was over. Kids like this, if you are reading this by chance, stop going to shows for the sake of the fans who are respectful to the artists, and would like to give them reason to come back to Oregon (which most bands don’t even acknowledge as a state).

Look at him with “short” hair…and no beard… he’s actually really attractive. I don’t think i would recognize him on the street.

But the show was enjoyable regardless to the situation above. He got very noticeably drunk in the middle of the set. but managed to pull it out, and they played a fairly long set, a lot of new songs too. He had a big head with all that hair and beard, then he was a whole lot skinnier than i pictured him. he was probably a couple inches taller than me but just as skinny. and i forgot to mention the crew who consisted of all the guys who were trying way too hard to look like devendra…

Me and sam while waiting for the show started thinking of things that devendra probably ISN’T doing while they did sound check. So i was going to think of 10, and sam will think of 10. but i can probably only think of 5… so maybe i’ll think of 5 more later…

• Making popcorn balls

• getting his hair corn rowed

• listening to margaret cho standup

• Having intercourse with a weigh challenged african american lady.

•  Watching the nascar race that he Tivo’ed.

Five things Devendra probably isn’t doing.

ps. Forgot to write about the Avett Brothers show…. But probably cause i wasn’t expecting anything less than one of the best shows this year. or ever. It was exceptional, me and jenny got front row, i mean we could smell seths shampoo, which was a fruity scent. and they played almost every song i wanted them to play and a whole lot more. scotty even played drums for a song… and of course their chello player joe kwon rocks out pretty hC… and the lights went out, then they turned back on and scotty had an electric guitar, and bob had an electric bass, and seth was on drums, and they got down pretty hC (hardcore) for a good minute and then scotty shook our hands and thanked us for coming.  We ended up buying a couple of hillstomp cds which was one of the openers. They are a duo from portland, very good guitar player, and a very innovative drummer. Go see them if you have the chance. even if you don’t like their recordings, they are a band to see live for sure.

xo